I’m often asked, what does “follow your bliss” mean? This expression from mythologist Joseph Campbell has become mainstream. And like other concepts like meditation, mindfulness and go with the flow it’s becoming something we’re somehow supposed to know how to do.

But what does it mean? The dictionary tells us that bliss means “supreme happiness”. Possible perhaps when we’re practicing our favorite sport, or having a wonderful dinner but what about when we’re stressed out at work or our home life’s a mess? Bliss can be hard to find at the best of times.

One of my clients has a busy career but she doesn’t find it fulfilling. I asked her to tell me what she would do if money were no object. She told me that she loves to cook. I suggested she put a program together and combine her coaching skills with her love for food. Her kitchen could become her business as she teaches team building skills while her clients have fun producing marvelous meals.

“Oh”, she said, “That would be blissful.”

This is what I mean by follow your bliss: Because the idea makes sense to her head as well as her heart it has continued give her a feeling of peace and confidence even when it’s not always easy. She takes on the challenges with certainty, knowing it’s what she truly wants.

For many of us it doesn’t seem possible to align our heads with our hearts. With all our commitments and obligations we often become “all business” – we squash how we really feel and become rigid. But hearts will be heard.

Many years ago I took a film production job in London. It was a great opportunity. But making adverts for McDonalds went against everything my heart told me was right. It became impossible to sustain.

But if we simply drop everything and follow our hearts that’s no guarantee of bliss either: We can end up in relationships and situations that don’t serve us. We fool ourselves into thinking every thing is ok when maybe it’s not. Some people I know follow their hearts to the point where they have a business that makes no sense financially. Things go from bad to worse but it’s like an addiction and they can’t stop.

And bliss isn’t about simply doing or getting what we want regardless. A shopping spree may be fun but it won’t bring peace. Lasting happiness involves connecting with others and doing something that makes the world better. So how to have more bliss in our lives?

First we need to step back into our elegant space and take the time to examine our lives closely. Elegant space always contains the answer. It’s our job to find it.

Write down what makes your heart sink: Perhaps you’re unfulfilled at work, maybe you feel you don’t do enough to help others or you need more creativity in your life.

Then write down what you would do if money, circumstance or time were no object? We’re often afraid to express our true desires but let loose and be outrageous. Maybe you want to grow organic vegetables, write children’s stories or volunteer at the fire department.

Then work out some simple experimental steps that you can take to make it happen and to see if you like it: For example - Sign up for a gardening class and get the help you need to get started. Write a page or two a day and see if your local library will let you read to the children. Go to the fire department on a Monday night and volunteer to polish the fire truck. Whatever you choose, if it makes sense emotionally and realistically then you are guaranteed to have more bliss in your life.

If what you can manage right now seems minor don’t be discouraged: Best selling novelist, John Grisham was so determined to follow his bliss he got up every day at 5am to write before he left for his law office. He wrote not to become famous but because he loved to create stories with intellectual plot lines.

And ask your friends and family for support. The beauty of all of this is that when we feel more aligned, we become less anxious and fearful and become more able to support those around us.

Thank you for watching. By taking even the smallest step you will be amazed at the unforeseen people and events that will come to support you. Next week we will take a closer look at how to access our Elegant Space.

You are a unique individual – all the answers you need are within you – to help you find them I have created a special worksheet that you can download as a pdf file from this newsletter. In one column list what your heart wants, in another column what your head wants and there’s a middle column where they align. This will help you to explore how you feel and lead you to the practical steps you can take towards more bliss in your life.